THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS

HEY EVERYONE... VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE,
and post your RANTS and comments here!!

After Christmas===

'Twas the week after Christmas,
and all through the house
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber!!)

I'd remember the marvelous
meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces
and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls,
the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said,
"No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So away with the last of
the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake,
every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits,
or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot
and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
and life is a bore.
But isn't that what
January is for?

Unable to giggle,
no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all
and to all a good diet!
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