COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY

Computer Terminology

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your
state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say
"Gee, three times faster than the computer I
bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store
and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and
money is no object."
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed
by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI - What your computer becomes after
spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard - The standard way to generate
computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make
computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after
purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force
businessmen to work at home, on vacation,
and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to
any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk
from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing
ALL of your software.
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