THE CHICKEN AND THE ROAD

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was
time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because
he recognized the need to engage in cooperation
and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side
of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on
'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem
on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do
is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his 'CURRENT'problems before adding 'NEW'problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so
that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen,you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing theroad....

ANDERSON COOPER:
CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent,hard-working American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, thechicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've
not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? 'That's why they call it the 'other side'!!
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay!! And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay too!! I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless
phrases like 'the other side'!! That chicken should not
be crossing the road!! It's as plain and as simple as that!!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,and that
was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on
to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released 'Chicken 2007', which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot....

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road withTHAT chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!!

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one??

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some
black chickens!!
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