DOG FOOD

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for
Buster the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was waiting in the
check-out line.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had...an elephant??
So since I'm retired with little to do, on impulse I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, but was starting the
Purina Diet again. I told her I probably shouldn't, because
I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but had lost
50 pounds before I'd awakened in the intensive care unit
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in
both arms.
I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets
and every time you feel hungry, you simply eat one or two.
The food is nutritionally complete and I was going to try
it again.
I have to mention that practically everyone in the line
was enthralled by now.
Horrified, the woman asked me if I'd ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me?
I told her no, I'd stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
ass and a car hit both of us!!
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