BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2008

The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008!!

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight To Canada.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked
John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
in Florida to check tickets. As a man approached, she
extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store in New York but she couldn't find
one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer in Montgomery got out of his car
as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down
his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket. (classy officer!!)
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and
noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he
knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his
truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips
and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says,
'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008!!
An Alabama college teacher reminds her class of
tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not
being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering
when silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly
at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand.....'

A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to
pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect!!
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