TOP TEN

Top 10 things heard on Bernie Madoff's answering machine:
10. "This is Barnes & Noble. I'm sorry but we don't sell calendar's for the year 2159"
9. "Hey Bernie, I've been out of the country. How are my investments doing?"
8. "Blockbuster calling. Your copies of 'The Great Escape' and 'The Shawshank Redemption' are overdue.
7. "Do I have the correct number? Is this 1-800-ASS-(*&#
6. "It's Ruth - If you go out, remember to swindle some Milk & Eggs"
5. "If you're under house arrest, why aren't you home?"
4. "Sorry, I didn't mean to dial your number. I just sat on my Phone"
3. "Hi Bernie. It's A-Rod's cousin. You looking to bulk up for Prison?"
2. "It's Michael Phelps. Need something to help you relax?"
1. "It's George W. Bush. Can I still get in?"
#####