WHY AM I MARRIED?

WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:You can stay single and be
miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.They all said the
same thing:"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,"Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"Dad replied,
"That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,"I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every wor d you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"Second guy remarks,
"You're lucky, mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer:Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand
a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for Patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death!!"

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting
at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them
after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded
and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind
man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you
put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If YOU had put a rubber
at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus!!"
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