RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN
CANDIDATE AND HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned.
English is the official language, speak it or
wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year
isolationist posture to straighten out the
country's attitude. NO imports, NO exports.
We will use the 'Wal-mart' policy of 'If we
ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be
a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be
required to man one of our many observation
towers on the southern border. (six month
tour). They will be under strict orders not to
fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return
to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin
in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president
nor any other politician will not be able to
touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on
Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school
week and the successful completion of
urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes/Steroids - The
FIRST time you check positive/banned for
life. (simple, eh?)

(8) One export will be allowed, wheat,
the world does need to eat. A bushel of
wheat will be the exact price of a barrel
of oil.

(9) All foreign aid using American taxpayer
money will immediately cease, and the saved
money will pay off the national debt and
ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur
around the world, we'll ask the American
people if they want to donate to a disaster
fund, and each citizen can make the decision
whether it's a worthy cause. The Pledge of
Allegiance WILL be said every day at school
and every day in Congress. The National
Anthem will be played at all appropriate
ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes but a
vote for me will get you better than what you
have, and better than what you're gonna get.

Thanks for listening, and remember to write
in my name on the ballot in November.
God bless America!!
Now -- who wants to be my VP ???
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