HOLLYWOOD SQUARES

If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares
and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes.
These great questions and answers are from the
days when " Hollywood Squares" game show
responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as
they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking
the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little
heads under water long enough.

Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump,
at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady
drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as
5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that
way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to
sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping
me awake!!

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a
stranger at a party and you think that he is
attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him
if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No -- wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to
diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than
three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with
a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and
"I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming
from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture
more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing
old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture
you'll never forget!!

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too
easily.

Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you going to get any during
the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy
growing strawberries....

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss
two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics,
what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the
bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm
always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will
wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what
would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never
be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there
anything wrong with getting into the habit
of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part
of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it
certainly isn't neglected!!

Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa
put horseradish on his head, what was he
trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of
time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my
elephant?

Q.When a couple have a baby, who is
responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car,
the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that
he firmly believes in them and has actually
seen them on at least two occasions.
What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are
two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE
WE GROW OLD -- WE GROW OLD BECAUSE
WE STOP LAUGHING!!
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